Fathers Who Have Been Present At A Good Birth

Boy are men relieved when their partner has a good birth experience. Sometimes men feel they’ve had little to do with achieving that although knowing that you’ve been a good support person during labour has definitely helped.

If you believe that a previous good birth means your partner will have another good birth think twice. Every birth is different and there is no way you can predetermine that the next birth will be like.

It’s so easy to assume that once a good birth always a good birth. Too many women and men have been totally blown away by a subsequent birth being more difficult.

Actually birth is very much like an athletic event and you already know that. You have to keep preparing and practicing if you are going to do the event again. It’s ridiculously stupid to assume good previous performance means repeatedly good future performances.

Athletes have to hone their skills. However, you might not really have felt that you had skills at the previous good birth. Many men see birth as something women ‘do’. That’s right. However, women wanted you to be at the birth with them to help. Sure you might have been a great support last time by holding her hand, breathing with her, rubbing her back or holding her up for hours.

Many men however aren’t really certain they knew how-to help. In a Feminist world there is a great belief that men and women are very different. But that’s actually not entirely true.

Do you know any man or woman who doesn’t blink, sneeze, cough or can tighten up their biceps? We all can. We share the exact same bones and muscles. There are birth and coaching skills based on this reality that can do several things.

First, whether or not this next birth is as perfect as the last, enjoy preparing your partner’s birthing body during pregnancy … particularly from 24 weeks on. This way you’ll help her more likely to have a great birth next time.
Second, learning great coaching skills means you work together with your baby’s efforts to be born. This means you have to shift your head around the difference between supporting and coaching. Coaching gives you the ability to see and hear when your partner needs some help to cope with the naturally occurring pain of childbirth and then use your common skills. This means you can support and give guidance and help so she stays on top of the sensations.

If the birth for some reason is either more difficult or even requires a surgical delivery, you still have the shared skills with which to work. This is all good. The birth of your baby deserves total, conscious involvement on your part. Besides your partner knows the difference between just being there and helping her. Which do you think she wants?

When you learn birth skills with your partner that are based on our shared human body and how to specifically prepare our body for birth then your good birth experience will be even more enriched.
 
There is no doubt many women don’t know why or how they had a good birth. With birth skills women are more likely to consciously work with their baby’s efforts. This becomes an internal dance with the sensations and messages known only to them selves. However, when you and she share a common set of birth and coaching skills you become closer as a couple.

You know that giving birth is definitely not a noun or inaction. Your role as a father who has been at a previous good birth is not to be a spectator nor passive to be hung on. Your role is to actively work with your partner and this can be achieved by learning skills together such as Directed Breathing, The Pelvic Clock and Deep Touch Relaxation.

Even if your partner has had a previous good birth, preparing her birthing body will give her more confidence to meet the challenge of labour no matter what. No woman likes to be surprised and unprepared particularly if they have believed once a good birth always a good birth.

Having a good birth is about being involved at every moment of the experience and knowing you are working together with your baby.
Another good birth can be so much more enriching rather than feel accidental. Achieving a good subsequent birth has a great deal to do with what we do in pregnancy to prepare and learning the appropriate birth and coaching skills for the task that does unfold.

As a man who has been at a previous good birth, you will never regret spending time during pregnancy to learn good coaching skills. Just as your fathering skills grow, so can your ability to bring forth your baby.

If you want to know more about Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation then visit http://www.birthingbetter.com and learn more about The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® the only childbirth preparation course that focuses entirely on birth skills for mothers and fathers for ALL births. Wintergreen, is a Trustee to Common Knowledge Trust which produces The Pink Kit. She is a childbirth communicator and communicates on the societal benefits of growing a skilled birthing population.