Being able to hire a doula is such a privilege, however, as you know they can't do the birth for you.

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'I thought that having a doula at our birth would mean less work for me as the father. She soon set us straight. She gave us The Pink Kit and said 'That's your work'. When we looked through the kit we realised what she was talking about. My wife still needed to know how to breathe through contractions and how to stay relaxed. My job was to help her and our doula's job was to help me do that. Orginally I thought that she was going to be my wife's labour coach. I'm so very grateful to her for giving us The Pink Kit so I really understood our roles. Iman ... Understanding dad USA
 
For my first birth in the 1970s, there was no such thing as a birth plan. We went into hospital and had done to us whatever they did to us. My next child was born after women were encouraged to write a birth plans. I basically sat down and made a wish list. I wanted music, incense, be massaged, birth squatting etc. Well, what I shock. I went into labour, my partner put on the musci, lit the incense, started massaging me. I couldn't stand the smell, the music sounded like scratching and I didn't like how my partner was touching me. That just set up the rest of labour ... totally out of control. During the delivery my midwife suggested I squat as per birth plan, so I did and our baby got stuck (now thanks to The Pink Kit, I know why) and I ended up with the same damn episiotomy and foceps as I did before. Mary ... Had kids years ago USA

I wanted to be a midwife but I would have had to do nursing first. So, I became a doula. It's a great job and also frustrating. People do expect too much of me, although I clarify my role. We were taught in our training to encourage women to do what they want and to be aware. I had one woman shout at me 'What do you mean?' Although I tried to explain it, really I couldn't. When couples started working with The Pink Kit, then we could all develop a common language. This meant that if I noticed the woman was tightening her bottom, I could point that out specifically and ask her to be aware that she doesn't tighten up with each contraction. Grace Family ... Australia